chat 2 -poet and jessie

please feel free to copy and paste bits you like into a comment and add onto them or change them as you wish... you could also just talk about what works and what doesn't there too... molly and i had a lot of fun on this one...

poet
did the question mark go away?

jessie
yes. there is now a check mark. what does the question mark mean?

poet
it means i'm merely a question to you. not a sure thing. not denied.


____

jessie
i've got no clue
who
i've got no clue who

poet
you've got no
clue
who
to
moo
woo
stew

jessie
new

poet
knew

jessie
foo
coo

poet
rue

jessie
boo

poet
you!

jessie
and the one we've been dreading...
poo

poet
ew!

jessie
:)

poet
that was fun

jessie
in the sun?

poet
to run
undone

jessie
with a gun

poet
well, what can you say after that?

jessieqrst
i dunno, you're the poet

poet
nope, just having fun under the sun with a gun and a pun, better run!

____

poet
so, still in the outback?

jessie
yup. i'm starting to get used to it.

poet
yah? you have an accent yet?

jessie
oh i wish.

poet
have you been practicing?

jessie
i've tried but i just sound like a moron. it's much more fun to make fun of everyone else

poet
i guess most anyone practicing an accent would sound like a moron.

jessie
yeah. maybe i'll pick it up though.

poet
wait. you make fun of them? it's their country!

jessie
you still in... chicago?

poet
close enough

jessie
where are you again?

poet
good question.

jessie
hmmm. you confuse me.

poet
you confuse me too! but so do most people

jessie
i'm good at that

poet
oh yeah?

jessie
and apparently so is everyone else

yeah

poet
yeah. the whole world is confusing. i suppose it would have to be though.

jessie
sometimes you just have to pretend you understand. it makes more sense that way.

poet
I think that's what we all do anyway.

jessie
unfortunatly that's what's so wrong with the world

poet
the pretending?

jessie
we try to understand, and then everything goes to hell. no one knows who anyone really is

poet
it's true. most people don't even know themselves.

jessie
it makes you wonder...if you know yourself, or if you just think you do

poet
do you ever surprise yourself?

jessie
sometimes.

sometimes

poet
like, you say or think or do or feel something that seems totally contradictory to who you thought you were?

jessie
sometimes

sometimes

yes

what's going on?

poet
when i think in french... all of these insults run through my brain.

jessie
my internet broke

poet
oh... i thought you were just being absurd again!

jessie
yes
kjhg
fr
f
frhj

poet
uh...?
are you practicing an accent?

jessie
i can't see the chat. something went wrong. everything i writes disappears when i hit enter
can you read this?

poet
yes, i can read this. what a predicament.can you imagine if that happened when you were speaking?

jessie
and now i can't read what you write

poet
if your words disappeared as soon as you said them. if you couldn't hear them leave your mouth?

jessie
yup. can't see a thing. i'm just blindly typing

poet
i hope you type something fun!

jessie
seriously. I CAN'T READ WHAT YOU'RE TYPING. my minimized screen just flashes, so i know you did write something, but i don't know what it is

poet
ha ha! i could say anything! doo-da, doo-da! vous etes imbicile!
na, i can't do it. it only works in my mind.
i just feel bad typing that to you.
and you can't even see it.
i'm such a meanie.

jessie
okay, if i close the window, what you say will pop up.

poet
how does that work?

jessie
magic

poet
you can see with your window closed? interesting...

jessie
indeed. i find it interesting at least

poet
um, so yeah. do you ever surprise yourself? say, with your absurdist outbursts...?

jessie
oh wow i figured it out. all new words are now on top, and not underneath. i can see everything you wrote now. hillarious.
now you know what happened when you were blind
enlightened?

jessie
yes. now i know. i do feel enlightened. and yes, you are a meanie

poet
i'm glad i didn't say something really awful, considering that you're now able to see it!

jessie
haha, yeah. even though you're on the other side of the world, i'd have had to come and .... throw a pie in your face

poet
do folks down under stll do that?

jessie
of course! especially when its done in revenge

poet
weird

jessie
isn't everything?

poet
no

jessie
like what?

poet
i'm unfortunately normal.

jessie
oh i wouldn't say that. a normal person wouldn't wonder all the things you do.
a normal person wouldn't... be talking to me!

poet
oh really? why not?

jessie
i'm sure a normal person would have un-added me ages ago. especially when i started saying "somtimes" about 1789 times. and then typed random letters
poet

poet
well... maybe. maybe there are more normal people than me. a normaler person might have thought you were shiczo or something.normallikenoodles

jessie
what makes you think i'm not?
you're a noodle

poet
schiczo?

jessie
yup. cuz i'm pretty sure i am. all evidence points to yes

poet
really? i wish i could see your expression right now.

jessie
absolutely. i've got 3 conversations going on with myself right now. anthony's looking at me funny...

poet
who's anthony? another self?

jessie
my expression looks like this: (punch)

poet
ah!

jessie
ha, no anthony's my brother... in law

poet
in law? you have a... sister?

jessie
janthony's my other self

poet
or you just decided to go to the court house and become bro and sis?
wait,janthony? who's that? is that australian?

jessie
yeah, janthony. carefull, she'll turn on you

poet
Janthony Carefull? What a name!

jessie
yup. 100.5% jaustralian. she made it up herself. she's a creative one.

poet
!!!
you get weirder by the minute
it's fantastic

jessie
who you calling wierd? me or janthony?

poet
oh, i wouldn't call janthony that.
she scares me
plus it'd be rude to say it behind her back

jessie
good. you should be scared

poet
unless you've suddenly become her?

jessie
you could be talking to her right now...
maybe you are...
maybe you arent....

poet
right, and i wouldn't even know it...

jessie
no one will ever know
i don't even know!

poet
well, shit.

jessie
no kidding

poet
can i talk to jessie for a sec?

jessie
sure just gimmie a sec...
okay i'm back

poet
ok.
you're sure?

jessie
pretty sure

poet
okay, good.
that kind of freaked me out

jessie
me too!

poet
i mean, i knew you were joking...

jessie
i don't know who i am anymore ! lol

poet
but suddenly it just made me realize how little i actualy know about you.
and that's weird.

jessie
like that i'm apparently schitzo?

poet
because you're like...one of my best friends.

jessie
i don't know that much about you either now that i think of it.

poet
you're just a virtual friend.
that's freaky.

jessie
it really is.

poet
and it makes me feel pretty lonely right now.
and a little schizo!

jessie
don't be lonely! at least you know there's someone out there who's virtually hugging you

poet
i mean, i might as well just be having a conversation with myself
you're virtually hugging me?

jessie
i was. but now you're making me feel like i don't exist!
heck yes i am!

poet
how can i be sure?

jessie
OOOOO
how's that?

poet
what's that?

jessie
hugs!!

poet
oh.i thought they were bubbles

jessie
you know, like when you put XOXOX at the end of a letter?

poet
oh. O

jessie
YOU MISTOOK MY HUGS FOR BUBBLES?

poet
shut up. i'm weird.
or dumb. or slow.
or depressed.
strike the last one.
don't want to sound emo.

jessie
i'm glad you've finally realised it. the wierd. not depressed, or slow or dumb. you're none fo those. you're not emo either

poet
i'm just feeling a bit self-concious

jessie
why? i didn't bring it on did i?

poet
do you ever watch too much tv?

jessie
not usually. why?

poet
and then feel really super empty when you turn it off?
like it vaccuumed up your soul?

jessie
wow

poet
please don't take this personally or anything but sometimes i feel like that after we sign off.
not that you were the vaccuum or anything.
just that... i don't know. it's hard to describe.

jessie
no , i understand. or, at least i think i do
like you're missing a part of you
something really important

poet
i don't know.
like, this isn't real.

jessie
like i'll sign on tommorrow and you won't exist

poet
or worse.
when you sign off, i won't exist.

jessie
when then i guess we just can't ever sign off

poet
really?

jessie
sure. i mean, we can leave the computer, but we just won't ever physically sign off.

poet
oh.
i thought you meant...
nevermind.
that was a dumb thought.

jessie
so we'll be connected through our everlasting not signing offism
what were you thinking?

poet
nothing.
forget it.

jessie
no tell me! please?

poet
do you think webcams would help?
like, if we could actually see each other?
or is that dorky?

jessie
what would that help with? no, it's not dorky
i am kinda curious what you look like...

poet
the vaccuum...

jessie
but i don't really want you to see me.

poet
no?

jessie
we might get sucked in!

poet
why not?
to what?

jessie
no, i look like crap today. maybe if i put on a funny hat... and sunglasses
to the vaccum

poet
ha ha!
costumes!

jessie
i love it

poet
and masks!

jessie
okay!
wait, i don't own a mask...

poet
yeah, me neither.

jessie
oh wait! i've got a gas mask! just in case..

poet
jesus!

jessie
where?

poet
why do you have a gas mask?!

jessie
i found it at some random shop for a dollar. apparently they were being recalled, but i knew someone who worked there so he sold it to me "under the table" for a dollar
did i mention it was a dollare?
*dollar

poet
wow.
well, i guess it's a good thing to have on hand.
with the apocolypse nearing and all

jessie
oh yeah. next time there's some sort of chemical warfare going around...
or when someone farts

poet
You'd better put it on!
now!
quick!

jessie
uh...?

poet
my dog just farted.
and he's old.
and they STINK

jessie
ahhh ! can't put it on that fast!!

poet
you've got some time being across the ocean.
but still hurry!

jessie
haha, alright. i will

poet
are you alive still?

jessie
i think so.

poet
maybe you're not.

jessie
it's a little hard to see the screen

poet
maybe we've both died and gone to hell.

jessie
well that would suck

poet
and it's exactly like life.
only we don't get to die.
it just goes on and on and on

jessie
can anyone else see us?

poet
i don't know.
why?

jessie
well, wouldn't it be wierd if everyone who died just stayed there, and we could see them all?
i guess that's what reincarnation is.

poet
except this would be the reverse.
because they would be dead.

jessie
i don't think i'd like that

poet
being dead?

jessie
in that way, yes

poet
i have a confession to make.

jessie
oh?

poet
i don't have a dog.

jessie
then i should probably take off the gas mask

poet
oh.
i was hoping you'd say you didn't really have that either.

jessie
no, i do

poet
and you really put it on just now?

jessie
uh... yes? does that make me wierd?

poet
it makes you more interesting than me.
you don't have to lie.
not that i'm a psychopath or anything.

jessie
i believe you. stop apoligizing for being yourself

poet
why do you believe me?
maybe you shouldn't.
maybe you're gullible.
and naive.

jessie
maybe i am. but that doesn't stop you from being my friend. does it?

poet
no. of course not.

jessie
good.

poet
do you tell people about me?

jessie
yeah
do you tell people about me?

poet
like, when you're at school.
and stuff.

jessie
sure i do.

poet
you talk about me just like a normal friend?

jessie
why wouldn't i?

poet
i don't know. because we're internet friends. i

jessie
fair enough. but you dont have to have seen someone to like them and consider them your friend. i think it's kinda cool

poet
yeah, so do i.
except when everyone at school talk about what they did over the weekend

jessie
what do yo mean?

poet
and all i can say is that i was on the computer.

jessie
oh.

poet
i wish you lived next door.

jessie
me too. you could see the gas mask and know i'm not lying!

poet
you know, i never would have thought we'd become friends.

jessie
no?

poet
i mean when you emailed me the first time about my poem... i was kind of afraid you were an old dirty stalker.

jessie
haha!
ah, i'm imagining myself as an old dirty stalker.

poet
do you remember what you wrote?

jessie
i'm not very pretty

poet
as the stalker?

jessie
not really, something about dreams?

poet
or do you have image issues?

jessie
i really do

poet
shut up
are you really really fat or something?

jessie
:x

poet
what's that?

jessie
WHAT!! why, do i sound fat?
that's me shutting up

poet
hah

jessie
well do i?

poet
i don't know what fat sounds like!

jessie
apparently me..

poet
you're not always talking about french fries or anything.
i'd say that's a good sign... to not being fat.

jessie
this is true
mmmm french fries

poet
if you're wondering about it, you should take off your pants and jiggle in front of the mirror.

jessie
umm.... what?

poet
if you get dizzy, then you'll know you have a problem

jessie
wow. no, no you're the creepy one.

poet
i know. shit.
no one should never write "take off your pants" on the internet!

jessie
i would definatly agree with that

poet
it's a good thing you didn't write that in that first email.
i would have reported you.

jessie
i probably would have! if the poem wasn't about just the opposite.
well, not really the opposite

poet
it was about putting my pants on?

jessie
i was just gonna say that it wasn't about shirts..
but that's a much better opposite

poet
nope. you've got that.

jessie
the shirts?

poet
i don't know. i've lost it.

do you chat with anyone else online?

jessie
no

poet
me neither. it'd be kinda cool though if we had another friend.
then we'd be a chat group and not just a chat.
ya know?

jessie
we should scout the internet and find someone

poet
totally!

jessie
alright, i'll check the left, you check the right

poet
my fake dog is the only thing to my right

jessie
my gas mask is to my left

poet
what are we looking for exactly?

jessie
someone to chat with!

poet
duh.
what kind of someone?

jessie
someone.... crazy
and wierd

poet
actually crazy?

jessie
and generally not normal

poet
or virtually crazy
like, really disturbed?
like, total basket case?

jessie
no. virtually crazy

poet
ok good.
i didn't really want to have to be friends with a wacko

jessie
we wouldn't wan't no nutcases round these parts
someone.... from...... the north

poet
nope. they might rub off on us.

jessie
because it's different

poet
alright, but seriously. do you really want to find someone?

jessie
yeah! why not! we get to be creepy

poet



_______

poet
your summers can't be worse than here with all of the humidity.

jessie
oh, really? it obvious you've never done any travelling

poet
i've travelled!

jessie
where have you been?

poet
just not to the other end of the globe
new york.
italy.
rio
thailand.

jessie
wow.that it?

poet
katmandu

jessie
that's impressive

poet
i know. so. where've you been?

jessie
i've been to.... uh.. .australia... and... um... i ah...
OOH!! i've been to france!

poet
in your underpants?

jessie
of course

poet
yeah, i've been there too.

jessie
show off
why do you travel so much?

poet
my dog... he's got this insatiable desire to see the world before he dies.

jessie
that must be one well versed dog.

what's your real name?

poet
he can woof in fifty two languages

jessie
awesome

poet
i can't tell you.

jessie
why not?

poet
you'll laugh.

jessie
i promise i wont

poet
you'll laugh so hard you won't be able to type.
ever again.

jessie
i swear on your fake dog that i won't laugh at all

poet
you won't be able to help yourself.

jessie
oh come on!

poet
is jessie your real name?

jessie
surely you don't go by poet all the time
yeah, it's my real name

poet
meagan

jessie
that's your name? what's so funny about that?

poet
shut up.

jessie
or is that the name you go by?

poet
you don't have to pretend

i know it's ridiculous.

jessie
i don't understand!!! what's so funny about it?
obviously i can type, so i'm not laughing

poet
it's okay. for real.
i'm used to it.
people just lose their poo when i tell them.

jessie
what? it's not funny! its' a perfectly normal name
or is that the problem?

poet
are you kidding?

jessie
no i'm not kidding!
it's funny that you think it's funny

poet
it's awful!
you know what it means, right?

jessie
no, what does it mean?

poet
omg. you don't?

jessie
uh..no?

poet
they don't use that word in the outback?

jessie
no
not that i've heard anyway

poet
wow. i've got to move there.

jessie
what does it mean??

poet
earwax.

jessie
oh
wow

poet
i know.
sucks to be me.
during roll call people always make the worst jokes.

jessie
what kind of evil parents do you have?
i can imagine

poet
the guy after me always says "q tip" after i say present

jessie
what language is it?

poet
american slang.

jessie
where did that come from?

poet
i don't know.
maybe somebody named meagan looked like a lump of earwax.
and it just stuck

jessie
i've never heard that slang in my life.

poet
ha, ha... pun...

jessie
you americans are wierd

poet
YOU LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD


jessie
only mildly funny
the pun

poet
i know.

jessie
but i've got the internet.
that should connect me to the other side

poet
alright... let's find us another friend. for real.

jessie
okay!

poet
what do you think... boy or girl?

jessie
hmmm....
well, we're already two girls, so do you think we should change it up
?

poet
we could.

jessie
lets

poet
where should we look for him?

jessie
the end of the internet

poet
where's that?

jessie
www.theend oftheinter net.com

poet
oh shit.

jessie
woah.. it exists

poet
it's just advertisements!

jessie
yeah. well, i guess we won't find anyone there
okay, check random chat pages
or add random namespoet

poet
ooh! i like that! lets pick a name and then search for him and just add him! that's brilllliant!

jessie
this is probably the creepiest thing i've ever done

poet
what's a good name?

jessie
uh...
i've gotta think about this one.
names are very important

poet
tell me about it.

jessie
sorry

poet
how bout a cute, not-creepy, not old, funny, loveable, guy-next-door name...
but not too normal.


jessie
maybe we should we sleep on it?


poet
probably not a bad idea
i'm exhausted

jessie
me too.

poet
it was a good time though.

jessie
remember, don't sign off! just turn off the computer!

poet
i'm not feeling lonely anymore

jessie
that's good.

poet
okay.
have a good night


jessie
don't let the bed bugs bite

poet
you too.
i mean, you either.
noodles!

jessie
oodles!

poet
poodles!

jessie
doodles!

poet
tootles!

jessie
uh... soodles?
foodles?
moodles?
coodles?
i'm gonna shut up now

poet
yeah... might be for the best...

jessie
hey!

poet
OOOOO

jessie
lol. goodnight for real this time
OOOOOOOO

poet
nightie night!

jessie
nite!

___

poet
oh no

jessie
oh no what?

poet
i started feeling the vaccuum

jessie
don't sign off!

poet
i wasn't going to!
i just backed away from the computer
and then i got the same feeling

jessie
i exist!

poet
prove it!

jessie
webcam?

poet
do you have one?

jessie
yeah

poet
i don't

jessie
oh

poet
i did but my dog ate it

jessie
that darn dog!

poet
i know.

jessie
i really should go to bed though!

poet
i know.

jessie
goodnight!

poet
ok.
gnt!

jessie
don't let the vaccuum suck!

poet
i'll try.

____

jessie
you still there?

poet
i'm not signing off, remember?

jessie
oh, right.

---

jessie
does meagan really mean earwax?

poet
you don't believe me?

jessie
uhh....

poet
maybe you should google it

jessie
i did

poet
and?

jessie
it got me nowhere

poet
what did you type in

jessie
meagan earwax slan american

poet
ha!

jessie
what?

poet
i was hoping you'd do that!

jessie
jerk

poet
that's why i made the whole thing up!!!!
too funny!
you're the best!

jessie
that's mean
is your name even really meagan?

poet
yes

jessie
okay. at least i know one thing about you

poet
you know me. i just like to have a little fun. keep things weird.

jessie
it's a good thing i didn't go telling every one i knew that meagan meant earwax
they'd all think i'm crazy
...er

poet
i know. i worried about that

jessie
GOODNIGHT!!!

poet
GDNT!!!!!