So, "what is real" turned out to be a bit too nebulous a question. Even I was struggling with how to answer that. Hopefully this is a bit more specific and personal. I think it just might be the central question of the play, as well as being the root of the first question. All of the characters have different reasons for asking this question... Justin, as he tries to differentiate himself from the society that has molded him; Reul as she returns from her after-life experience in the cosmos which I imagine felt more real than anything on Earth; Noelle as she notices the differences in how she interacts with her old friends and with her new ones - especially those she talks with in another language; Sam as he embarks further and further into the virtual world, under the guise of Elliot's virtual persona, Bolo... and on and on.
But, in an effort to be real and to really explore this question, I thought we could drop the characters for a bit and open up discussion about our own relationship to that question. Afterall, this play is really about us and for us.
So, I'll go first. I struggle with this question a lot. Especially when I'm writing. It's so obvious to me when I write things that aren't real. They sound contrived. They feel empty. They don't excite me. They're just words put together in a crafty fashion and there's no life behind him, just fancy ideas. As I've been working on this play recently and pushing for a deadline which would get it accepted into a high-profile festival, I've typed a lot of things that haven't felt real and I've gotten really frustrated, erased them and stared at a blank screen for hours. I realized the other day that pushing for this deadline was causing me to not be real. It was undermining the reason I write in the first place which is to connect with other people, and in this case, to connect with you guys and to let our connection lead the play where it will. Upon realizing this, I decided to let go of the deadline and to reorder my priorities. Immediately, I felt more real again. I felt happier and more whole as a person. I got excited about this project again and realized that while we've figured out a lot for this play, what we really need is to get to know each other again because certainly we've all changed since the last play... aren't we changing all the time? And right now as I'm writing to you, I am real. I feel honest and clear-intentioned. I feel like all of the different aspects of myself are aligned and I'm excited again, even about these simple words I'm typing.
I think one aspect of me being real is dependent on being aware of my own intentions and not losing sight of them in the face of deadlines and opportunity.
I also know that I'm real when I'm doing really simple things like baking cookies, walking in the sunshine, holding a baby, playing with an animal, dancing... things that connect my body with the space outside of it and with the space inside of it, that thing we might call the soul.
How about you?
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I went to the Bruce Springsteen concert 2 weeks ago, at the United Center. It seats 23,500 people, and I think I spent more time looking at them than I did the Boss. We all looked like speckles, which you'd think would make us seem more insignificant and less concrete -- but I felt like a genuine piece of something important, a following of something we all loved, despite other obvious disparities. We all shared something real. And then I felt real, too.
Ah yes, Marnie. I know that feeling. It's something I get from Flogging Molly concerts. It's like being in a crowd leaving the Taste of Chicago. Everybody's drunk and marching down Adams and just being an enormous mass. You feel less of an individual and more part of a bigger thing. Like an enormous people-amoeba.
Wow. This is totally unexpected and therefore awesome. I love getting a totally different perspective.
When it comes to music... what is that real thing that you're sharing? An experience? A feeling? Something else?
And with Taste, what is it that people are sharing? What connects them? Is it just that they're packed together in a tight space? What is it that makes you feel real then? Is it just being so physically close to so many other people?
It's been said that some people feel the most lonely in a crowd. Do you think being lonely makes a person feel more or less real?
In answer to your music question, it's all of it. It's that you came to be in this immediate locale the same way so many others did: we were all waiting in anticipation of this one date to come. We all shelled out cash and cleared an evening to prove that this is meaningful to us. We assure each other that, yes, these sounds are worth loving. We are fully realized by sharing this with other people.
Reality has nothing to do with being lonely, I think. Lonliness is a result of ignoring opportunities, or not being offered any.
I disagree. I think that loneliness is an incredibly real feeling. There are so many emotions and feelings that are just as real but that you don't realize as much as you do with loneliness. When you are lonely there is nothing to distract you from that feeling because that is what the feeling is; solitude from everything. Anger is another feeling that feels more real than others because you recognize it and somtimes verbalize it. "I am so pissed off right now!" Other emotions like apathy or contentedness are rarely recognized because there is no reason to point them out. When I'm happy I don't need to go around thinking and talking about how happy I am because it's more than enough to just be it rather than to dwell on it. When you are lonely all you feel is lonely and to me, that feels very real.
That's interesting that you say that a lot of people feel lonely in a crowd. I think back to Flogging Molly concerts and I think I know what you are talking about. When I am in a crowd or a mosh pit and we're all dancing around and being crazy we are all completely in the moment. However, when you stop and think about yourself, not as a part of this mass, you begin to feel singular and isolated. I don't often do that, however. When I'm at a concert or the Taste of Chicago or an anti-war rally I like to just be there and mush into the blob. That's when I feel like I am a part of something and that's when I feel real.
very cool thoughts on all of this. and i love "mush into the blob." that's going in the play.
in my religion class we're reading a book called "for a future to be possible" by Buddhist Monk,Thich Nhat Hanh so I'm learning a lot about Buddhism. I am also learning a lot about Christianity because I go to a Christain school--Lutheran--in very Christian area. Almost all of the students here are Christian.
In Christianity there is a lot of emphasis on individualism. " 'I' am special because God made 'me.' 'I' am made in God's image. 'I' must do the right thing and be kind to others so that 'I' can go to heaven. The Christian faith is very personal (especially the Lutheran Faith because Martin Luther was the guy who was like 'you've gotta find God yourself/you don't need good works to go to heaven just faith/etc). Even the idea of eternity is very self-contained: at the end of this life there is an after life. You live forever, first on earth then in heaven (or hell i guess).
Buddhism, on the other hand, practices very similar ethics/teachings but the perspective on things is much more 'other-oriented.' Danny and Marnie, you were talking about how you feel real when you are "mushed in the blob." This is a very Buddhist idea because with out this "blob" of humanity (and other life too)we wouldn't exist. There is not a single part of you that is yours. every part of you has existed since the beginning of time it just keeps getting reformed--your cells were once living inside your parents, and their parents, and their parents. You build those cells by taking the lives of the food you eat, and the food your food ate, and the food their food ate. And as far as eternity goes, there may not be a Buddhist heaven as there is a Christian one but we do live forever because you will pass your cells into your children, and their children. And when you die you will pass them into the earth through the magets and worms who eat you and the soil you fertilize.
according to Buddhism, being real is knowing you are a part of the world--that you need the world and it needs you. you can be in a crowd and still feel lonely because you don't feel like you're really connected to them. Maybe you feel connected to the people at these concerts because feeling the same ways and wanting the same things and you understand each other.
(of course i do not mean to put down christianity if it sounds like that! both religions have VERY similar teachings of ethics. Buddhist ideas on love and kindness, sex, and even eating right can be backed up with the bible. it just seems like the motivation to follow these ethics are different because our ideas on how we fit on this planet are different, you know? i mean, i don't even know. ive just been thinking about it and i'm sure many people--especially my classmates--might disagree with me. you can to if you want. whatever.)
Ah! Thich Nhat Hanh is the man. He also wrote Living Buddha Living Christ which I've only read part of. Another buddhist thing about being in a crowd is being in the moment. Like I said when you are just there and part of the blob, you won't feel lonely. When you take yourself out of the moment and think of only yourself you will feel detached and unnatural.
I'm reading a book right now called One City and it's all about the interconnectivity of Buddhism and how everything we do effects everything else in the universe either directly or indirectly. It's just awesome. Isn't buddhism the shiznit?
Daniella, Thanks so much for your post! I think you hit on some really deep stuff that connects all of our ideas wonderfully.
This idea of "without the blob of humanity" we wouldn't exist is really what I'm wanting to explore. If we don't exist without everyone else and yet we all have a different perspective and we're all changing constantly, then what is the 'real' that we all share? Virtual reality is a reality made up by its inhabitants based on what they have created there and what information is traded there... isn't our reality the same? And if we're all capable of creating this reality (with eachother of course) then what is it we're creating? What is the constant? What is it we all believe in and want to be real?
Huge questions here. I love how you guys don't hesitate to confront them and find answers in from your own lives. You're so brave and honest and real.
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